Missing

I used to avoid “missing” something,

flashing back your memories,

either it’s a place, person, food or even moment,

and wishing to go back in time.

I hated it so much.

Sebagai seseorang yang sangat visual,

gw merasa otak gw sangat mudah menampilkan gambaran-gambaran memori di masa lalu yang pernah gw lewati,

and it happens all the time.

So, when I started to miss something, 

my brain would start to flashback the past memories uncontrollably

dan dengan mengingat kembali masa lalu ini,

hal pertama yang gw rasakan adalah sedih,

yang entah gw sendiri pun gatau kenapa harus sedih yang pertama kali muncul.

I felt like I really wanna go back in time,

pengen balik ke tempat itu,

ketemu orang-orang yang gw kangenin,

pengen tinggal di lingkungan itu lagi,

pengen having conversation dengan accent itu lagi,

kembali ke momen-momen indah yang pernah terjadi.

As time flies and by getting more matured,

I actually can see it more clearly now.

Kangen itu sendiri sebenernya bukanlah hal yang harus kita hindari ataupun kita sesali.

It’s actually a great thing that happens once in a while.

Semuanya kembali lagi ke bagaimana cara kita melihat dunia,

how do we see things from a bigger perspective,

bagaimana kita menerjemahkan memori-memori itu menjadi sebuah outcome yang berbeda.

Seperti hal-hal yang baru ini gw alami,

I was browsing through my Instagram page,

and seeing my Nigventure posts yang tentunya menimbulkan rasa kangen.

Every picture has a different story, 

which all of them are so amazing and mint.
And each Nigventure means so much to me.

The Reichstag picture reminds me of a day in Berlin,

bayangan di pikiran gw bisa menggambarkan dengan jelas,

ketika gw pertama kali mendaratkan kaki di Schipol Airport,

with a nervous feeling,

and even so much scared because that was my first time to travel with myself, ALONE.

I was waiting for my luggage for about 15 mins.

By then the Nigventure in Berlin started,

with a help of screen-captured maps on my phone,

I hopped on to the red bus with a Berlin City Pass I had bought earlier at the counter next to the bus stops.

By then I reached the Alexander Platz where I was staying for 2 nights.

I spent my whole day exploring all the attractions with a help of the Tripomatic app on my phone.

The memory of me walking through the city in my bag pack and black jacket eventually brought up this “missing” feeling.

I know that I really goddamn miss Berlin like so much.

I used to feel sad whenever I thought of Berlin.

I used to come across disappointment, a thought of “Why am i even here right now? Can i just fly there and get back to the good old times in Berlin?”

I used to miss the convenience of the transportation there.

Semua yang ada di pikiran gw adalah ingin membawa semua pengalaman Berlin untuk muncul di depan mata gw detik ini sekarang juga.

Yeah, gw tau kebanyakan orang (well, atau mungkin hanya gw) akan merasa sedih ketika mereka melihat memori indah di masa lalu.

Yang dimungkinkan karena beberapa faktor seperti:

hidup mereka sekarang ga seindah ketika di momen itu,

orang yang ada di momen itu adalah orang yang sangat-sangat berharga dan berarti bagi dia,

atau mungkin denying diri mereka sendiri kalau sebetulnya masih ada banyak momen-momen indah lainnya yang bisa kita dapatkan di luar sana, like right now or in the future.

But now I realised memorable moments are meant to be happened once,

and we actually should feel happy because we have experienced it once in our lifetime.

I mean, we don’t live in the past, but in the present.

Those good memories aren’t supposed to bring you down,

gw malah merasa kita seharusnya merasa senang ataupun bangga

karena momen indah itu pernah terjadi dalam hidup kita.

Dan kalau dipikir-pikir lagi,

if you got a chance to get back to that moment now,

would everything still feel the same?

Apakah kita akan merasakan excitement yang sama?

I’m not sure.

The world changes, the environment changes and so do the people.

Perubahan terjadi begitu cepat tanpa kita sadari.

Demikian halnya pola pikir dan ekspektasi setiap orang.

Dan lebih dari itu,

I eventually thought of by missing something, it actually motivates us to step out of our comfort zone, 

and I’m pretty sure there are some other good moments are waiting out there to be found.

Buzzin!