The Dedi Returns
Hey nigolaners yang ada di belahan dunia manapun,
I know it's been 9 months since the last time I updated this blog.
Bukannya mau galau atau terkesan sok dewasa,
tapi ya, 9 bulan ini bener2 terasa seperti pengalaman berarti walaupun berlalu sangat cepat.
I've just noticed there was 1 thing missing from my life,
yaitu berbagi cerita dan masalah pribadi dengan orang lain.
Yup gw emang orang yang tertutup,
berbicara sedikit,
selalu menyembunyikan perasaan pribadi,
trying to be goofy all the time.
But yes, I also do feel sad, disappointed, angry sometimes..
just that speaking it out doesn't make me comfortable.
Dan...
mungkin karena gw half-introvert,
menulis adalah media terbaik buat gw untuk menyalurkan semua cerita yang terjadi di hidup gw.
Maka dari itu,
gw akan lebih sering-sering mengupdate blog ini mulai detik ini juga (amin :') )
Well I don't know how to explain it,
gw cuma berasa waktu berjalan cepet banget.
1 bulan lalu gw baru aja menjalani 2 weeks of internship at BlakLabs,
I was really enjoying my time there with the Blak folks,
and I seriously felt of losing this little family on my last day.
Well, must be another goodbye(s) in my life..
Lalu 2 minggu kemudian,
the convocation day of my Nafa Diploma.
Jujur berasa seneng uda lulus, ada perasaan sedih it was the last time to see them.
Dan...
sekarang gw ada di UK,
tepatnya di Newcastle, bagian utara deket Scotland
and it's been my 3rd week here,
still trying to settle in, slowly.
Ok we're not going to talk about this now.
So, here's our story for today...
Belakangan ini gw sering dikasih pertanyaan "uda punya cewe belom?'
Dan jawaban yg terlontar dari mulut gw, "nggak".
Oke, sejujurnya ada rasa tersayat ketika kata itu terucap.
rasa suka itu ada, bahkan bisa dibilang "sayang".
dy tipe yg sabar,
nyambung kalo diajak ngomong,
i adore her when she tries to act cute,
she can tell me a lot of things i didn't aware of before,
she eats a lot as i do,
we do,
we do listen to the same musics on the radio,
singing the whole shit out anytime,
and there's one thing that makes her special to me,
she's always there for me whenever i need her to..
Dan gw sering memikirkan hal ini berulang-ulang kali entah sejak kapan.
Should I do this relationship?
Jujur aja, gw orang yang realistik.
gw ga percaya LDR,
i just know it's never ever gonna work for me (even some of my friends have done it well so far)
but i just don't believe in it.
Because I do always know what kind of person I am,
and I know what i want in my life,
in a relationship.
Gw tipe yg cukup egoistik,
harus ketemu dy in person at least 3x seminggu,
makan bareng, jalan bareng, ato bahkan kena macet bareng will be great as well.
Tapi...
gw bukan tipe org yg bisa menunjukkan how deep is my love from the message,
gw ga bisa msg-in dia tiap hari 24/7.
Even I do really care and think about her..
Dan buat sekarang,
gw bener2 enjoying my phase of life,
hidup nomaden to see the world.
Gw punya mimpi untuk kerja overseas after graduated,
entah itu di negara manapun,
London, New York, Japan, or even Singapore,
I've been getting my ass off for it even I know it's not gonna be easy.
walaupun gw tau gw pasti bakal balik indo juga at the end,
just that i have no idea when will it be.
Maybe I'm a loser,
yes I am indeed.
terlalu takut to get bonded by the relationship..
ketakutan ini selalu dibuntuti sejuta pertanyaan yang keluar masuk kepala gw..
...
is this what i really want?
a relationship?
is it gonna work out?
am I ready for it?
feeling homesick everyday?
because i know i wouldn't be able to bear it
is it fair enough for her?
waiting for someone who's not worthy to spend her time on?
shouldn't we just remain as friends?
as friendship often ends in love,
but love in friendship-never
shouldn't we give a chance for each other?
you may find someone better than me?
who's willing to be by your side the whole time?
...
am i ready to lose you?
...
Love must not touch the marrow of the soul.
Our affections must be breakable chains that we can cast them off or tighten them
-Euripedes
I know it's been 9 months since the last time I updated this blog.
Bukannya mau galau atau terkesan sok dewasa,
tapi ya, 9 bulan ini bener2 terasa seperti pengalaman berarti walaupun berlalu sangat cepat.
I've just noticed there was 1 thing missing from my life,
yaitu berbagi cerita dan masalah pribadi dengan orang lain.
Yup gw emang orang yang tertutup,
berbicara sedikit,
selalu menyembunyikan perasaan pribadi,
trying to be goofy all the time.
But yes, I also do feel sad, disappointed, angry sometimes..
just that speaking it out doesn't make me comfortable.
Dan...
mungkin karena gw half-introvert,
menulis adalah media terbaik buat gw untuk menyalurkan semua cerita yang terjadi di hidup gw.
Maka dari itu,
gw akan lebih sering-sering mengupdate blog ini mulai detik ini juga (amin :') )
Well I don't know how to explain it,
gw cuma berasa waktu berjalan cepet banget.
1 bulan lalu gw baru aja menjalani 2 weeks of internship at BlakLabs,
I was really enjoying my time there with the Blak folks,
and I seriously felt of losing this little family on my last day.
Well, must be another goodbye(s) in my life..
Lalu 2 minggu kemudian,
the convocation day of my Nafa Diploma.
Jujur berasa seneng uda lulus, ada perasaan sedih it was the last time to see them.
Dan...
sekarang gw ada di UK,
tepatnya di Newcastle, bagian utara deket Scotland
and it's been my 3rd week here,
still trying to settle in, slowly.
Ok we're not going to talk about this now.
So, here's our story for today...
Belakangan ini gw sering dikasih pertanyaan "uda punya cewe belom?'
Dan jawaban yg terlontar dari mulut gw, "nggak".
Oke, sejujurnya ada rasa tersayat ketika kata itu terucap.
rasa suka itu ada, bahkan bisa dibilang "sayang".
dy tipe yg sabar,
nyambung kalo diajak ngomong,
i adore her when she tries to act cute,
she can tell me a lot of things i didn't aware of before,
she eats a lot as i do,
we do,
we do listen to the same musics on the radio,
singing the whole shit out anytime,
and there's one thing that makes her special to me,
she's always there for me whenever i need her to..
Dan gw sering memikirkan hal ini berulang-ulang kali entah sejak kapan.
Should I do this relationship?
Jujur aja, gw orang yang realistik.
gw ga percaya LDR,
i just know it's never ever gonna work for me (even some of my friends have done it well so far)
but i just don't believe in it.
Because I do always know what kind of person I am,
and I know what i want in my life,
in a relationship.
Gw tipe yg cukup egoistik,
harus ketemu dy in person at least 3x seminggu,
makan bareng, jalan bareng, ato bahkan kena macet bareng will be great as well.
Tapi...
gw bukan tipe org yg bisa menunjukkan how deep is my love from the message,
gw ga bisa msg-in dia tiap hari 24/7.
Even I do really care and think about her..
Dan buat sekarang,
gw bener2 enjoying my phase of life,
hidup nomaden to see the world.
Gw punya mimpi untuk kerja overseas after graduated,
entah itu di negara manapun,
London, New York, Japan, or even Singapore,
I've been getting my ass off for it even I know it's not gonna be easy.
walaupun gw tau gw pasti bakal balik indo juga at the end,
just that i have no idea when will it be.
Maybe I'm a loser,
yes I am indeed.
terlalu takut to get bonded by the relationship..
ketakutan ini selalu dibuntuti sejuta pertanyaan yang keluar masuk kepala gw..
...
is this what i really want?
a relationship?
is it gonna work out?
am I ready for it?
feeling homesick everyday?
because i know i wouldn't be able to bear it
is it fair enough for her?
waiting for someone who's not worthy to spend her time on?
shouldn't we just remain as friends?
as friendship often ends in love,
but love in friendship-never
shouldn't we give a chance for each other?
you may find someone better than me?
who's willing to be by your side the whole time?
...
am i ready to lose you?
...
Love must not touch the marrow of the soul.
Our affections must be breakable chains that we can cast them off or tighten them
-Euripedes
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